hope

Dum spiro, spero - While I breath, I hope

I have said all along that I am not going to get my hopes up. I am not going to let myself get excited for something that may not happen. Almost a defense mechanism. But I can't. I am generally, or have always been, a positive, glass-half-full kind of person. I'm not cynical (like my sweet husband sometimes is), I'm not pessimistic. It's just not me. But IF has a way of robbing you of those characteristics. It isn't fair.

I told J that I wasn't going to get my hopes up and I was just going to wait and see how it goes. Yeah...that lasted all of 3 and a half seconds. So, in honor of hope, here are the reasons that it *should* work out this time:

1. I had great follies. Perfect size and I know I ovulated.
2. My lining was really good.
3. We had well-timed intercourse. The day before, the IUI, then the day after...covering all bases.
4. I have had 2 HSGs in the past 2 months. 'They' say that you are more fertile within 3 months of having an HSG, so that's good.
5. I have been good with my pom juice and pineapple which will hopefully assist with implantation this week.

If it weren't me and my screwed up body, I'd bet on the odds of a successful pregnancy. But since it is me and it is my screwy body, I won't. I will, however, continue to hold out some hope.

3dpiui

• blood when brushing my teeth again. granted, i wore my retainer to bed for the first time in weeks, and i didn't investigate to see if it was from my gums...but blood nonetheless.
• small jabbing pains on my left side and once in a while on my right side. still feel almost crampy.
• heartburn. nothing new, i get it often.
• bbs are a bit sore