over

It's over. I knew it last night. The spotting turned into more spotting...more pink and more clots. And my boobs stopped hurting quite as bad. So, yeah. It's over.

I'm baffled.
I'm defeated.
I'm depressed.

I seriously don't know how I've done this virtually every month for nearly 2 years. And the thought of the possibility that it could go on for several more just exhausts me. I have no energy to continue doing this. Even though I know I will.

We're done with Clomid. I respond pretty supremely to it. Everything should have been good. I had ample follies, nice thick lining...everything should have stacked up. Somehow, it didn't. So when I talked to the nurse, she said that we'd have to skip the coming cycle because of timing. We haven't sat down with the RE to discuss for sure what we'll do next. He mentioned moving to injectables or trying Femara. But we never decided for sure. Injectables start on CD3. That is Sunday. Our appointment is Monday at 2:30. She said that he may be okay with starting on CD4 but we will decide that on Monday.

Part of me wants to move straight to injections. But another part of me thinks we shouldn't because I want it to be a perfect cycle...ie start on the EXACT right day. Not a day late. If we're going to be spending $1500, I want to be sure everything is the way it is supposed to be.

I feel like something's missing. Are we missing some test that should be done to figure out what's going on? Is there something that my RE is not seeing? Uuugh. Until Monday, I guess I will gorge myself on ice cream, friend foods and chocolate. That sounds like a fantastic way to lose some weight.