so sue me

A second post for the day, so sue me! During my drive home this evening, I came to some realizations. I don't know if it's the beautiful spring weather and being able to roll my windows down, open my sunroof, and enjoy the sunshine. Or maybe it's because of my appointment this morning. But I am working on putting things into perspective and being a bit more positive, and for some reason, I am really at peace with things today. So, for at least today, here are some of my realizations:

• I've realized that I absolutely love my husband. You can read a full, mushy post about this on my real blog, by clicking on 'My Profile' to the right, and then following the "." link to my real life blog. I keep this one private from that one.
• I've realized that we aren't going to have a 2008 baby. 2009 will be my hope, but at the same time, it might be cool to have a baby in 2010.
• I've realized that I am at peace with waiting a few months. At least for now. I'm not impatient today.
• I've realized that I need to take this opportunity to focus on my career. I have a great job and I have a lot of potential for really boosting my career in the long run. That is something that I should not let pass me by.
• I've realized that I should enjoy my free time, sleeping in until noon on the weekends and having lots of time to read, shop, and be alone. I value my alone time SO much.
• I've realized that I can take advantage of this time to continue losing weight. I know that, in reality, there is a good chance that I could gain 40 or 50 pounds during a pregnancy. Yes, I know that the goal is 25 pounds, but let's be realistic! I am overweight and will probably gain more weight than I should. I don't want to even fathom what I would weigh if I gained that much weight...let alone what I would look like!! So if I continue at the rate that I'm going, I can lose about 30 pounds in the next few months. Even if it takes 6 months, I'm okay with that.
• I've realized that I have a Bucket List full of adventures just waiting to be had. And a 100 Must-Read list of books just waiting to be read. I will be working on these furiously.
• I've realized that traveling is a definite possibility. I told DH that if we are not pregnant by the end of 2008, then I am planning a sweet ass trip. Italy? Ireland? Germany & Poland? I haven't decided yet, but it is something that I will make happen if we aren't pregnant, so it's something to look forward to.

So, I feel good. I was far less emotional than I would have expected. In fact, I didn't shed a tear, except for when I wrote the blog post about J. That made me a little sappy. But in terms of sulking and feeling sorry for myself, I am doing well.