over (once again)

It looks like my lucky fertility socks didn't do the same magic for me as they did for alicia. I'm beyond bummed. And to make matters worse, I started spotting (very lightly but dark brown, but I knew it was over) yesterday right before we went to the Covered Bridge Festival. So I got to spend the day walking around and seeing what HAD to be like 7 trillion pregnant bellies all wobbling around. Then I had made plans a while back and coordinated a trip to the Pumpkin Patch with my sister, cousin and nephews. I couldn't back out. I didn't want to back out. But it was really hard to see kids of all ages...from very very newly born to toddlers to big kids. And more pregnant bellies. It's such a family thing to do...and so kid-based, so I understand. It was just really hard and got my spirits down big time.

When I got home, J and I had a long conversation about whether or not to start injectables this next month. It's a toss-up for us. On one hand, we could hold off until after the holidays...enjoy the holidays, the extra $$ to shop for Christmas, etc. Or we could do our first round and hope that we have good news to share over the holidays. But J wanted to take a good long look at our finances to see what we've been spending in recent months and make sure that we'll be able to still save some money while shelling out the $3500 for an injectable cycle. We found that a.) we eat out WAY too much! and b.) we will still be able to pay the $3500 without having to dip into savings and we'll actually be able to save a little bit. That was a relief.

I think we've decided to give it a try. If we aren't successful with the 1st injectable cycle, we'll look into what kinds of tests can be done (perhaps another SA on J, looking a little more closely at my eggs, etc.) as well as possibly seeking a second opinion. We like and trust our RE but if we're going to continue to spend this kind of money, we feel like we need to just check into our options. For now, I've committed to cutting out Starbu.cks again, not eating out and possibly even stopping with my nails...we never broached the subject of my Target habit, but I need to commit to not shopping...baabbyyy steps, people! The only thing I said I for sure can't compromise on is my hair stylist. She's too good and has conversations with my curls. I need her!

We're really hoping that we have some good news to share at Christmas. If not, we'll probably plan a big vacation for next year and then look into starting back up again at some point in the middle of the year. I've always had a sneaking suspicion that it would take injectables for us to get the job done. I've never felt that we would have to go to IVF. But who knows...I also have stupid hope every month only to be laughed at by mother nature!

In other news, the li.a sop.hia fundraiser has received some warm reviews! Yay!!! I have gotten some emails and comments but no orders yet!! I'm hoping that you are all holding out till the last minute before the first special expires. I really want this to go over well and am happy to answer questions as needed!! Hopefully I can pull stuff together to do a little suggestion post soon.